Life Under the Apple Tree

Thinking Out Loud

In Hindsight: All It Takes Is You

with 3 comments

My neighbor and I were talking a few days ago about gay marriage. She is gay and lives with her partner next door. She believes strongly that gay marriage should be legalized.

I said, “No. No one should have to ask permission from anyone else to get married. If two people want to marry, they should be able to go out and do it. It’s no one else’s business, and the government has no right to say either way.” Actually, I don’t remember exactly what was said word for word, but I said something to the effect that “people should be able to make their own choices, and there should be no government telling us what to do or how we are allowed to live.”

She said, “That will NEVER happen.”

I immediately backed down (a bad habit of mine that I want to break), and said, “No, it won’t, but it should,” or something lame like that.

Here’s what I wish I had said: I can’t predict what will happen in the future, but here’s what IS happening right now. There are more and more people out there who are doing their best to live their lives AS IF government didn’t exist. It doesn’t take a vote, majority rule, laws, or “might makes right” to bring about change in this world. It just takes individual people making their own choices and living their own lives. All it takes is you — “being the change you wish to see in the world” (Ghandi).

If you want to be a “legally married” gay person, however, at this time you will need the approval of those in government. Personally, I’m beginning to think that any choice that requires government sanction, like marriage, may not be all that it’s cracked up to be. Perhaps it would be better to choose to live without such things altogether. The cost to one’s self — in legitimizing the power of others to control your choices — is too great.

I’m going to start using this blog to post random thoughts on voluntaryism, unschooling, and other topics and ideas that I want to get straight in my head.


Written by cherapple

30 December, 2009 at 1:00 am

Posted in In Hindsight

3 Responses

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  1. It is frustrating when people say things like “that will never happen.” I don’t believe that. Sure, it might not happen in my lifetime, but I think if we at least start talking about it in a serious manner then maybe our kids will figure out how to get there.


    30 December, 2009 at 5:05 pm

  2. Yeah…the power of one…being the change. It helps to have others to remind us how amazing we are and how powerful we really are. Thanks!

    Thanks also for posting the pictures of your zentangles! It inspired me to start drawing like that again – something I haven’t done for about 25 years! I now go everywhere with my little sketch book and nice pens and I am loving it!

    Have a beautiful day x

    Free Spirit Mama

    4 January, 2010 at 3:27 pm

  3. Nice post! If you ever write an unschooling post that you want to share, please submit it to the Carnival of Unschooled Life.
    Best wishes,


    16 June, 2010 at 7:07 am

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